-by Chris Cloud
My son stood at the top of a hill with his bike. He was scared and didn’t want to ride. This was only his second time on a real trail without training wheels. We both knew he was ready, but fear had gripped him.
I asked him why he was scared. He said, “Because I don’t want to go into the lake.” There was a lake to the right, about 30 feet from the trail and not a real danger.
Then I understood—he was picturing himself losing control and ending up in the water.
Even though the hill was relatively mild, his fear took over and that’s all he could think about.
As we walked the bike down the hill, I coached him (a coach can’t help but coach!). “Quincy, you’ll go where you look. Stay calm and focus on where you want to go, not on what you’re afraid of.”
After talking it through, he launched off.
He rode the trail beautifully.
For the first time in his life he was easily able to evade obstacles and keep from weaving all over the trail.
When he started to feel scared, he would stop, collect himself, and keep going.
After a few miles, I asked what had changed. He said, “When I stay focused and calm, it’s not hard at all to stay on track!”
That resonated deeply with where I am in my business.
In life and leadership there are many risks and things that could make us anxious.
The irony is that if we focus on those and make those the object of our attention and energy, we’ll end up heading in the very direction we want to avoid.
If we focus on those dangers and let them make us anxious, we’re likely to panic or make poor decisions—often creating the very problems we fear.
But when we stay focused on our goals and stay calm, we’re more likely to create the outcome we want.
And I have a sense that the very act of looking in the direction we want to go, of staying focused, actually helps us stay calm.
Keep calm and carry on, as the slogan went. Here are some lessons from that bike ride:
You can’t learn to ride a bike in a boardroom. You have to get out and do it. The same goes for most things—delegation, time management, public speaking, communication, etc. You can learn the principles in a book or a boardroom, but you have to do the thing to actually learn it.
Look where you want to go. It’s easy to focus on the scary stuff or what you don’t want. But that won’t help. Focus on where you do want to be. Stay calm. Anxiety only adds to the problem.
In my role as business and executive coach, I have the privilege of helping leaders remember where they are going, and stay focused on it.
Keep calm and carry on my friend.
