Psychologists claim that there are those who have unhealthy attachment.
To keep it simple, when you have unhealthy attachment and you are away from someone, you tend to think in paranoid ways like, “They must be mad at me, or maybe they don’t like me, or maybe I said something to upset them.”
The thoughts aren’t always rational, but they can feel real. These are paranoid and insecure thoughts.
The trouble with this is that it can spiral and create its own reality.
In believing that people aren’t generally for you, one creates a self-fulfilling prophecy that pushes people away.
Untrusting people beget untrusting relationships.
It’s a downward spiral. We can all struggle with this to varying degrees.
However what’s interesting is that those with healthy attachment, those who are secure, have almost the opposite. They have an almost irrational belief which is, in spite of evidence to the contrary, they generally believe they will be liked and accepted.
The term for this is “Pronoia” and it’s “Paraonia’s” positive cousin.
“Pronoia” is believing the best, and that the world is secretly conspiring in your favor.
Here’s what’s fascinating and helpful: “If you trust people, you make them more trustworthy.”
Yes! People become who you treat them to be.
Pronoia is a positive upward spiral, the opposite of Paranoia and unhealthy attachment disorder.
How do you make more friends, how do you become a “Super Friend?” You believe the best about people, that people are secretly conspiring for you.
As someone who has struggled with unhealthy attachment since childhood, I’m working on putting this into practice, into trying to make this a habit. It’s not easy, but boy howdy is it rewarding and mutually beneficial when I do.
For more on this check out this article in The Atlantic, The Trait that Super Friends have in common
